EP 0036 – Triggers Return (Subscription)

EP 0036 – Triggers Return (Subscription)

It’s Not You – It’s Your Sudden Trigger Wake-Up Call

A single unexpected moment can shatter months of emotional quiet, yanking a buried abandonment wound back into daylight and showing just how much boundary work still waits beneath the surface, even when you thought you had moved past it.

The Jarring Reappearance of a Trigger
After a long stretch without significant triggers—helped by personal inner work and the reduced social exposure that came with COVID—a powerful emotional reaction struck over the weekend. The force of it was surprising, pulling old abandonment feelings to the surface and making it clear how much those triggers had faded into the background until they didn’t.

Boundaries Under Pressure
When hurt surfaced, the instinct was to either withdraw or respond with anger—two patterns that once felt like the only options. Expressing the pain without shaming the other person proved difficult, and when defensiveness rose on both sides, true listening stopped. The exchange revealed how challenging it remains to stay vulnerable, clear, and respectful while protecting oneself in a meaningful relationship.

Sorting Through the Aftermath
In the following days, the focus turned inward to untangle anger that flipped into self-hate, sadness, and shame. Questions surfaced about whether the intensity belonged to the present moment or to older, unhealed places. Recognizing the impact on someone valued led to fully owning the reaction, grieving it, and opening the path toward a clearer understanding and possible repair without blame.

Three Important Takeaways

• Triggers can lie dormant for years, only to return when least expected, pointing straight to the exact spots that still need healing attention.
• Setting boundaries healthily means stepping beyond old habits of anger or shutdown toward honest expression, non-shaming words, and real mutual listening.
• Choosing to own the emotional spiral rather than project blame creates space for self-compassion, honest processing, and the chance to restore connection from a place of clarity.

Conclusion
The reappearance of a long-quiet trigger is not a step backward but a loud invitation to practice new responses in real time. By refusing to shift responsibility outward, sitting honestly with the discomfort, and approaching both self and others with curiosity rather than criticism, old survival reactions can slowly give way to something more grounded, respectful, and genuinely connected.