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It’s Not You; It’s Your Trauma

Podcast Episode

Joe delves into the complexities of trauma and how it shapes behaviors, emotions, and relationships. Joe shares his expertise and personal experiences to help listeners understand and overcome their struggles

Coaching InfoNewsletter

EP 0038 – Family System Boundaries


In an enmeshed family system, we have no boundaries, no protection. To start moving out of your family system role, we must learn how to create boundaries. Boundaries are a responsibility line. A boundary lets others know where your responsibility for them ends, and the responsibility for yourself begins. Without boundaries, we are codependent people pleasers who abandon ourselves to be accepted by others.

When setting a boundary, we fear the feelings that arise within us as we anticipate the reaction from those in the system. We have been conditioned not to have any wants and or needs. We abandon ourselves, not to be abandoned by the system.

The fear is ultimately having to go it alone. To leave home emotionally and live by our belief system, not the one that was instilled in us.

To leave the system, we must slowly dismantle our role by setting boundaries and dealing with the unwanted feelings we have been avoiding. We must believe that we can survive on our own.