EP 0097 – Anger and Resentments Are Gifts

EP 0097 – Anger and Resentments Are Gifts

It’s Not You – It’s Your Buried Rage

Anger isn’t the enemy you’ve been taught to fear. It’s the loud, insistent signal pointing straight to the parts of you that were never allowed to be protected. Ignore it, and you stay stuck handing your power to everyone who triggers you. Face it, and you finally stop begging the world to fix what only you can heal.

The True Power Hiding in Your Anger
Anger is your birthright. It’s the raw energy designed to protect your boundaries, your worth, your tender places. When resentment flares or you overreact, your nervous system is screaming that something precious inside is under threat. Most people were never taught to feel anger safely, so it either gets swallowed into shame or explodes outward, leaving you guilty and disconnected. The episode makes it clear: every trigger is a doorway. That resentment isn’t about the other person being wrong. It’s about an old wound being poked, and your body still believes the only way to stay safe is to wall up, demand change from them, or cut them off. Real power begins the moment you stop outsourcing your protection and start listening to what the anger is guarding.

Why You Run From It
You avoid anger because the moment it rises, guilt and shame rush in right behind it. You were likely punished, dismissed, or shamed for expressing it as a child. Feeling it now drags up memories of being helpless, unseen, and emotionally robbed. It’s terrifying to admit that the rage is covering deep hurt—hurt that feels too big, too old, too raw. So instead of turning toward it, you turn it against yourself in self-hate or project it outward, hoping someone else will finally make it stop. The cycle keeps you small because facing the anger means facing the child who was never allowed to say no, never allowed to be angry, never allowed to matter.

The Brutal Cost of Staying Unconscious
Avoiding your anger keeps you in a lifelong loop of codependency, passive-aggressive walls, and chasing external fixes. You hand your emotional safety to partners, family, friends—anyone who might mirror the love you never got. When they inevitably fail, resentment builds, walls go up, and the wash-rinse-repeat pattern continues. You stay a victim, emotionally hostage to other people’s behavior. Addictions, people-pleasing, self-abandonment, chronic loneliness—all of it thrives in the space where unresolved anger festers. You never feel free because you’re always protecting an old wound by demanding the world stop hurting it.

How to Begin
Think of this like starting at the gym after years on the couch. You don’t walk in and deadlift 400 pounds. You start with the bar, maybe just bodyweight squats, building tolerance one small rep at a time. Sit quietly for five minutes and let yourself feel the tightness in your chest, the heat in your throat, the clenched jaw. Notice when your mind races to blame someone, explain it away, or numb out—that’s the escape. Gently return to your body. Breathe into the sensation without trying to fix it. Ask: What part of me is scared right now? What old memory is this reminding me of? Start tiny. Stay with the discomfort a few seconds longer each time. No shortcuts. No bypassing. Just honest, repeated contact with what’s been buried.

The Freedom Waiting on the Other Side
When you stop running from anger and start moving through it, space opens inside you. You no longer need other people to soothe your triggers or prove your worth. Choices become conscious instead of reactive. Self-hate quiets because the rage that once turned inward finally finds its rightful target—the original wounds—and then releases. Regulation returns. You walk into rooms without armor, without scanning for threats. You stop chasing validation because you’ve begun giving it to yourself. Freedom isn’t the absence of pain; it’s the presence of enough inner safety that pain no longer controls you.

Three Important Takeaways

• Anger is a protective signal pointing to an unprotected, wounded part of you—stop outsourcing its care to other people.
• Avoiding anger keeps you trapped in codependent loops, self-abandonment, and endless resentment cycles.
• Healing begins when you take responsibility for your anger, turn toward the hurt it guards, and build the capacity to protect yourself from the inside.

Conclusion
Stop consuming endless episodes, books, and insights hoping understanding alone will heal you. The work is in the body, in the discomfort, in the repeated choice to stay present when every instinct screams to run or blame. Your anger is not a flaw to be ashamed of—it’s the guide that will lead you home to yourself. No one else can do this for you. Start today, even if it’s messy, even if it hurts, even if it’s small. The version of you that no longer needs to beg for protection is already waiting. Go meet them.