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Episode 0066 – Finding Joy

 

Why is Happiness So Elusive?

In this episode, Joe Ryan explores why happiness seems so elusive for some people and why many of us feel like we are constantly “on guard.” Drawing from his personal experiences, Joe delves into the practice and process necessary to feel comfortable and joyful, especially after enduring significant trauma. He outlines key steps to move through this process and reach a state of genuine happiness.

Key Points Discussed in This Episode:

  1. Scanning the Room for Safety
    • Hyper-Vigilance: Joe discusses the tendency to constantly scan for safety, a habit formed by those who have experienced trauma and live with their guard up.
  2. Deprogramming & Preparing for Loss
    • Anticipating Loss: Joe talks about the mindset of always preparing for loss that may never come and how to deprogram this self-protective behavior.
  3. Finding Happiness in a World That Feels Unhappy
    • Pursuing Joy: Joe shares his journey of learning to find happiness in a world that often feels devoid of it and tapping into a personal reservoir of joy.
  4. Building a Relationship with Yourself
    • Self-Connection: Emphasizing the importance of forming a relationship with oneself, Joe explains how being alone isn’t a punishment but an opportunity to discover your true self.
  5. Struggling with the Feeling of Joy
    • Embracing Joy: Joe addresses the common struggle of feeling joy and the steps necessary to overcome the fear of this emotion.

Episode Takeaways:

  • Scanning for Safety: Understand why you scan for safety and work on feeling comfortable in different environments.
  • Deprogramming Fear: Learn how to prepare for potential loss while not letting it dominate your life and emotions.
  • Pursuing Joy: Actively pursue happiness, even when it feels elusive. Recognize that joy exists within you and can be accessed.
  • Self-Relationship: Build a strong, loving relationship with yourself. Recognize that being alone is a chance to understand who you truly are.
  • Embrace Your Fears: Face your fears and understand why you avoid certain situations. Trust yourself to handle what comes up.
  • Move Beyond Comfort Zones: Don’t limit yourself to what feels comfortable. Move outside your comfort zones and learn to deal with your body’s reactions.
  • Start Your Journey: Begin somewhere, even if it’s not your ideal starting point, to eventually reach a place of joy.

Important Steps to Finding Happiness:

  • Feel Joy: Learn not to be afraid of feeling joy and find ways to accomplish this emotion.
  • Stop Pretending: Stop pretending to be someone else and projecting a false image. Embrace who you are and what makes you happy.
  • Feed Your Soul: Take time to feed your soul, face your fears, and get off the autopilot of life. Figure out why you avoid certain situations and how to trust yourself.
  • Move Outside the Box: Avoid painting yourself into a box. Move outside it and learn to handle your body’s reactions to new experiences.

Tune into this episode for an insightful discussion on the elusive nature of happiness and practical steps to move towards a joyful and authentic life. Joe Ryan’s candid exploration of his journey provides valuable guidance for anyone seeking to overcome trauma and embrace true joy.

 

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