Hurry Up and Wait


I struggle with allowing time and space to open up, to allow what I need to face next to arrive in its own time versus wanting to get through it now. 

I can feel what will be present to me next, it’s just below the surface and rising up to my consciousness. I know exactly what it is and what I need to do. 

An obstacle that I must pass through if I want to grow closer to the freedom I desire. 

Am I fighting the urge to force it or am I just afraid to face it? Is it procrastinating or accepting that I’m not strong enough yet?

I’m in that comfortable place between layers and I don’t want to leave here right now, but what if I’m just avoiding going to that painful place out of fear. 

It’s my struggle always, allow it to come on its own or take control and make myself face it today. In the end, it’s going to happen either way and my life will change forever no matter which route I take. I’m wondering how different my life will be going forward depending if I wait or do it now. 

I can no longer wait for strength to come, I must find it. And find it I did. 

The longer you put off recovery the longer you stay in the victim role.