To feel the love that should have been freely given, you had to please everyone around you at the price of your authentic self. There is an unconscious part of you that refuses to do this any longer. You are unmotivated, sad, empty, and lonely. You are stuck. Stuck in a life you no longer want to live, a life that was never a part of your conscious choosing.
You don’t recognize yourself and feel you are betraying yourself and the people around you. You feel helpless and powerless to change. You can’t go back to who you were pretending to be, and you can’t move forward to the life you want. You are emotionally paralyzed. You can no longer be there for others in the same way.
The supply of love and attention is slowly drying up from those around you. Their validation is what kept you motivated. It was their supply that fueled you. Without it, you are left to fill yourself up independently, and you were never taught how to. The childhood feelings of worthlessness start to arise, and depression sets in.
Unconsciously there is a part of us that finally knows that nothing or no one outside of ourselves will take away our feeling of worthless. We have to do it on our own, but we don’t know how to. It’s as if We are going through addiction withdrawals. We were addicted to our role. Without our addiction, we feel the pain that our people pleasing role took away.
Our role has been our drug of choice. We use it to keep others around us happy with us; without it, we feel unlovable. We have always had these feelings of worthlessness. It was our addiction to the role that had kept us away from the feeling that is overtaking us now, and we don’t know how to deal with them. These are the feelings we need to understand, the emotions we can no longer avoid to become unstuck